Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off to Work I Go.

One day life is orderly at work. My project spreadsheet shows me up-to-date on all my projects and their current status...sort of on a holding pattern. I even go so far as to ask for more work and this time, receive MORE than I can handle and have to turn some away. Life seems fine. I waste some time playing on the internet. Life is still orderly. I even go on vacation. Then

BHAM!

The spreadsheet is thrown out the window and I realize the time line on the screen, the time line in my mind, and the time line in REALITY are not the same and I gotta get goin'! It's always before this big meeting we have that I start to freak out knowing I am going to be held accountable for my projects. Not just accountable, but put on the spot in front of my team to explain any glitches, any details that need working out, etc and I guess I still start to sweat at the thought of all eyes on me when I don't really...want their eyes on me.
I know what I have to say...but I always still wonder, will it be good enough? Am I doing good enough?

And worst of all, the small things like daily emails and phone calls and demands on my time keep coming. The small things are like little gnats that hang around your face, right up in your eyes and nose and ears even, so you HAVE to get rid of them or they will just keep pestering you. Meanwhile, somewhere on my arm or leg there's a leech, aka a BIG project with HIGH priority, sucking slowly at my blood that should be getting the immediate attention but is not. Humph.

My best work and best concentration seem to come under pressure and tight deadlines. Call this a side affect of adult a.d.d. or a.d.d. or just flashbacks to college. But when I am too busy to think, too busy to goof off (or write blogs at work, which I still manage to do in 5 minutes or less, take that multi-taskers!), I actually don't mind what I'm doing.

In all seriousness, sometimes...I like my job. Those days feel good. :)


*disclaimer* we all know from reading DoOCe that blogging about work is a major internet no no. However, she said some things about her boss that may not have been...nice. I am not here to rant and rave about the people for whom I work or with whom I work. I like them. They are all smart, interesting and funny people who are passionate about their jobs. (lucky them) For me, to not talk about my struggles with my current job duties and my aspirations for my life and purpose is ignoring 8 hours of every day of my life. And this is my life. My blog. And even, my time. (I scoff at people who think just because they're "on the clock" they have to be automatons. my blog is my cigarette break, so THERE)